Designing through Grief | Powder Room Makeover (Plans & Moodboard)

Hey there,

You know how sometimes life feels like a series of unfortunate events? Or like the phrase "when it rains it pours" is all too real, and there's no end to the rain... Yeah, that's what my life feels like lately.

About four years ago, my mom died from lung cancer. On that day my life changed forever. I've spent the last four years moving through the grief of losing her and adjusting to a new way of life without the presence of her guiding love and support. I'm doing alright, but I doubt I'll ever stop missing her, wishing I could share the ups and downs of my life with her, getting her advice and validation...she was an amazing mom and loved me so much.

Every time I'm sad, I think about my mom and wish she could be there. Which is what makes this most recent loss even more sad. 5 days ago, my brother Shawn died in a car accident. Sometimes it still doesn't feel real... I wish I could talk to him one more time, hear his voice, and tell him I love him. We had the closest relationship of all my siblings. When others turned away, I stuck with him. I always believed he could get past his addiction issues and live a happy life. Being the sister of someone addicted to drugs is an experience that has, and continues to, mold who I am.

So now I'm grieving again, and really it just feels like two servings of grief because I'm missing Shawn and I'm missing my mom. I feel these losses weighing very heavily on my heart. My brain is thinking things like "all of life is pain" and other dark thoughts that rarely entered my mind before. I feel like I'm carrying a heavy ball made of cement and sadness, and there's nowhere to put it, so I just carry it around with me.

So that's where I'm at. Pretty fucking sad.

But, anyone who's grieved knows that distractions help, so I decided to redirect some of my sadness into my passion this week and start designing our powder room. I'd already been thinking about designs for this room for a couple weeks but hadn't yet settled on one. Here are two of my original concepts that I shared on Facebook recently:

Both playing on a navy and mustard yellow color palette, with a fun wallpaper behind the vanity. I liked both of these designs, but I wasn't completely sold on either one. So the other night, in between sob sessions, I sat down and took another look. And I started to design. And play. And I went a completely different direction from these two initial concepts, and I absolutely love what I came up with. To me, the design feels much more calm while still being very visually interesting. Here is the concept:

What do you think? Let me know in the comments.

I had a lot of fun creating this design and am really excited to bring it to life. Nick loves the design too and gave me the green light to make it happen. Working on this project has helped bring a little joy back into my days this week, and for that I'm grateful.

Here are the before pictures of the space:

And a little sneak peak at the progress I've made so far:

Thanks for reading and for your support. Stay tuned for more updates, on design and in grief.

Love,

Sam